Losing a Loved One

My dear Grandmother of 86 years old, died last week on 4th of September 2009.

She was one of the people I admired most, aways strong, loved being the centre of attention and was proud of everyone in her family.

I know she was old, I know some things weren't quite right. Yet it completely surprised me, as she was supposed to have a routine procedure in the hospital. Unfortunately, mistakes where made. I don't want to go into details here, because I want to remember how she lived, not how she died.

My mother told me a few years ago, how my grandma was proud of my decision to put an end to my marriage, when things just couldn't be fixed anymore. How she probably would have done the same, if she had the courage, lived in a different age and didn't have the children to worry about. She was always strong, work always had to be done and you had to take care of yourself. She liked when people dressed smartly and looked slim. Men were viewed as caretakers, and decisionmakers. Women as obedient and hardworking, non-complaining. Basically a typical view of how things were when one is born in 1923.

My mom also told me how my grandma once said that I was the most special grandchild for her. And when she asked why, she simply answered: because she made me a grandmother. I hope that is something that my sister's first born can give to my mom and feel special like that. My grandmother looked forward to my sister's baby, and somehow I know that child will carry something of her inside.

During WWII, as a 17 year old girl, her family and many others were ordered to leave their houses and go to safer areas. The government stated that all farmers in the north of the country - the part least populated - must take people into their homes and provide work and food. To get there, these families had to cross German borders and were taken in trains on German grounds to travel up north, because railways in The Netherlands were destroyed so no-one could flie. They were shoved together in carriertrains, with no seats, no air and no light. People were sick, filthy and had all kinds of diseases due to bad hygiene and lack of soap. During the travel, American and English allies thought their train was a German train and attacked. You can only imagine how scary that was. Luckily, the train wasn't hit and they arrived safely. Only to be seperated from her family, my grandmother went to work on a farm for the rest of the duration of the war. Hers were the only people who obviously were angry to take in people, and she had a horrible time, doing slave work for very little food and bathing priviledges. She never kept in touch with them after that, unlike many other families who always held tight connections with the farms where they stayed.

She got married with my grandfather at 27. He was often quite sick, due to captivity in WWII and having to work for the Germans in a factory. So she made a little extra money cooking. She catered for weddings, communions, funerals and other occasions where food might be needed. Taking care of the children during the day, working until 4 at night.
My mum, sis and I definitely inherited her love (and skills) for cooking.

I know life continues, the circle of life works that way. We have to pass on what we were tought. And that... we will do to honour our loved ones who sadly passed on.

Thank you Oma, You will Never be Forgotten, You will Always be Loved. You are the Root of Our Excistence. I Love You.