One year after...

...my last blog. I've been seriously busy.

I can tell you, this was the most fun year so far. We've travelled to Argentina and visited my family in Holland. I've gotten to share more time with my nephew Ethan and got to know him a little better. I've made a lot of new friends. We partied hard this year. Life is good.

It's funny how life has many twists and turns and that when looking back, things don't always work out the way you think they might. Even though at the time it seems sad or unfair that a certain thing is happening to you, hindside it usually turned out for the best. Point is, whichever way life takes you, you can never imagine where it leads you and how things can be so much more different or better. I don't know if that means that some things are just meant to be or not, because often you can let life happen to you or you make life happen. Which one is best?

An interesting thought and maybe something I won't figure out until I'm older and (hopefully) wiser.
For the time being, I do a little bit of both. Let life happen, let some things follow its natural course, and also aim to accomplish your goals. 

First things first

I know it's been over a year since I last wrote and boy, things have changed indeed....

First of all, I'm not running anymore for the marathon (hence the non-posting on my run-a-thon-blog). Why? Because it's just who I am I guess. I've got great ideas that do not get accomplished sometimes because other things become my priority. Or I simply get bored because I find out it's just not really me. I loved the idea being able to run a marathon, and then I got serious knee-trouble, which I had to sit out for a while. After that, I didn't think it was so much fun anymore and just got caught up with other things in life.

However, at the moment I'm in my third week of my 3-weekly Pilates class and I'm loving this. It's definitely more me, as I've never been the heavy exercise type. So I figured I needed something that suited my personality and life-style. And I feel awesome doing it.

So what has happened to me over the past year? Well, we've traveled to Rome in March, which was simply wonderful. We rented our own appartment for 3 days and it was amazing. Definitely the way to go. It was a loft appartment, meaning it's basically one big room, divided in an open second floor that you access via a tiny spiral staircase. I loved that our kitchen was hidden away in a cabinet that you had to open and ta-da... full kitchen available. Anyway, Rome was stunning, every street corner you'd find a new stunning architectual view. Needless to say I ate lots of icecream and pizza...

Also, my parents arrived for a week in May. Just a chill holiday, the only thing we did was celebrate Miguels birthday present that he got from me... 3 laps in a Palmer Jaguar F1, which was quite spectaculair.
It was so wonderful to have my parents here, to myself and see them enjoy and relax under the warm Spanish sun. My father still talks about how he loved sneaking out of the house with me and Miguel one night at 4 or 5 in the morning (we'd been up drinking and chatting all night) and going to the beach to see the stars. It was great indeed, it's one of the things I love most living here. I feel so much more connected to real things, nature, all that is around me. It kinda gets lost on you living in a big city.
I can't wait for their next holiday...

After a year full of stress on Miguels part mostly, studying for his big exam in October, it left little time for us to do something for us. Have some fun. Things weren't looking up financially for a while, as I'm having to support us with my freelance work. Unfortunately, Miguel didn't make the cut. A very stressful and dificult exam (if he passed, he would have certainty of starting his new job) But as only 200 persons were needed from the 16.000 candidates this year, we knew chances were going to be slim. Fair enough, we had our hopes up until the exam, until Miguel told me afterwards that upon looking at the sheet in front of him, he thought he mistakenly was sitting out a different exam. As this is a government position, and Spain currently has a 22% unemployment rate, it's quite unsettling knowing that you might not make it. I found it very unfair, the whole ordeal around the why and the how things are being decided by this government. There is not a lot you can do about it, but it sure shows you.. I just felt so angry about him working so very hard this year, letting the world and his (our) life pass by, without the result we were hoping for. So after a year us being totally disconnected from our social life, we are slowly starting to recover from this and are preparing ourselves for a new year.

Things are looking up, and we have our holiday planned this Christmas. Going back to Holland after exactly one year, and seeing my sis, her 1 year old and all the other friends that I had to miss this last year. Fun times indeed!!

Help! I need somebody. Help! Not just anybody...

Ok, I guess I'm really doing this.

An innocent question from my friend Paige, if I was up for a race, actually became a "Thing-to-do". Be careful what you ask your friends, they might actually take you up on it...

Sometimes I feel like doing things that other people would never expect from me. Maybe it's that restless nature I was talking about. I've also been known to be stubborn (thanks dad!). My first thought was: "Yeah, right", the second was: "Actually, why not?", my third thought became: "Oh, my God, what have I gotten myself into now?"

But I'm actually determined to do this. Running a marathon.

The more I say it, the more I get freaked out, because it's becoming more true. The reason why I'm scared is the mere fact that I've never ran in my life. It's not in my nature. Ever since I was a kid, I'd avoided running. Whether it be sports, games or just plain necessity.

Ofcourse, I want to keep the goal reasonable. Since attempting to run a marathon within 3 1/2 months is just unrealistic, I'm aiming for half a marathon in February 2010 (Sevilla) and the full one in November 2010 (NYC).
And I kind of getting used to this idea. Like I'm going to be a part of something big. It's exciting, it's scary and most of all, it's painfull.

As I said, I've never run before. After 2 days attempting to jog, all I feel are my sore upperlegs. I'm better at swimming, cycling, long-distance walking, that kind of stuff. Even basketball I'm good at, thanks to my height, but running?

Nevertheless, I really really want to do this, and I have lots of stuff to figure out. Like: are you supposed to keep going eventhough your legs aren't yours anymore? Do I take a 1 day break or is it better to continue? What is the best technique to track your milage or times? How to build up your endurance? So much to find out yet... And internet will be my best friend for this.. hip hip hooraaaay for advanced technologaaay.

But I'm terribly excited and the fact that Miguel will be training with me is a huge support. To make sure I don't just quit, I will keep a blogdiary of my daily progressions:

http://eline-runathon.blogspot.com/search?updated-min=2009-01-01T00%3A00%3A00%2B01%3A00&updated-max=2010-01-01T00%3A00%3A00%2B01%3A00&max-results=9

Happy Halloween!

I like Halloween!
I've never celebrated it.
...?

This year will be the first time, and I'm überexcited about the menu I've put together. Basically, I want to start on it already, although I should wait one more day to keep things fresh.
I feel like a little kid, waiting on her birthday. The fact that (maybe) only 2 people will be joining the party doesn't spoil the fun. Or that I got an email from an ex-boyfriend saying he doesn't like Halloween because of what it stands for (-partypooper-). It doesn't matter.

The quest for a pumpkin to carve has also ended, and it's waiting for me on the kitchen counter with more patience than me.

I've even bought candy for the neighbourhood kids, so I won't feel like an idioot like last year, frantically searching for left-over chocolate and anything else remotely sweet (My sweet tooth has been kidnapped by the Toothfairy, some years ago...). This year I'm armed with a dish full of sweets!

The scary movies have been collected too. I am a big fan of psychological thrillers or paranormal movies. They really scare the crap out of me. After seeing the Curse, I couldn't sleep for days without the light on. Yet I come back for more and watched the Curse 2, plus both Japanese versions...

Anyway, all food is bought, I only have to put it together. Somewhere between the Ghostbrie, Mummified hotdogs and Gravedigging cake we will drink our Chopped hand sangria, watching very scary movies and waiting for the Trick or Treaters to knock on our door.

Yeay! So much fun! Maybe I'm a virgin at this stuff, but it takes practice, practice, practice to get good at something, right?

Settled in Spain

Living in Andalucía for 2 1/2 years now, I couldn't think of another place to call home. This is my home now and I'm used to the way of life here.

Missing Holland is more about missing my family and friends, but I don't want to go back to the lifestyle I had. Sure I made more money and things seem to have more structure. Sure I had coffee with friends, late night chats with my brohter and fun dates. I couldn't forget the last few months of living in Holland and the lifestyle I was creating around me. But I felt everything was changing as my friends started families, what could lead to me living the crazy single life alone. I knew I didn't want that forever, as it could also not satisfy me enough. I needed something more...

Other things that I do miss, is the timeframe of getting things done. It's absolutely no lie that everything in Spain is mañana, mañana. But then, once you are used to that, you neither feel the pressure of doing things asap yourself. What cannot be done today, will be left for tomorrow. It does add an calmness to things.

I don't envy the stories about how cold and rainy it is in Holland. People forget that the southern heat here has its ups and downs too. A tropical climate is wonderful when you are on holiday and don't have to wake up after a(nother) night of heavy partying, but sleep your hangover off on the beach. Or when you don't have to work day after day in a sufficating little room, where you virtually cannot think while sweat makes you stick to your chair. Or the choice of trying to fall asleep with a buzzing airco vs. an airless bedroom...
Yet, I wouldn't change it for the world. I love the free feeling of the beachtown that I live in, the Spanish openness and fiery temperament. After all... negative things only stay that way until you decide to flip your frown upside down.

Living here does make me less undertaking at times. I don't go out as easily or get things sorted by phone. It's still hard to give a witty reply to the girl next to me in the supermarket complaining about the length of the queue.
I reckon it's just time. It took time for me to learn English and feel comfortable enough to do such things... it's only time before it'll be the same in Spanish. And I know I need the challenge. Without it, I'd get bored. As a restless soul, I need changes in my life, big enough to reach goals that take time to accomplish...

I know now, that giving yourself a wake-up call from time to time, isn't always such a bad thing. You never know which roads lies ahead of you or where you might end up...

What's up, little babies?

After rain comes sunshine... and what could bring more sun than the arrival of baby Ethan!! My dear sis give birth to him on Friday the 17th of October. Such a proud auntie I am! Although I have 3 nieces, this is the first nephew and I can't wait to see him when Miguel and I will visit him in December.

It's weird, I am so much closer with my sister than my older brother, and for some reason this baby feels more closer too.
And as I tell the news to friends or family here in Spain, along comes always the question... what about you? Like when you pass a 'certain' age, or you are in a longterm relationship, you should suddenly have the urge to start a family too?

I do, sometimes. Have that urge, I mean. Other times I don't. The point is yes ofcourse I would like to have a family of my own and I also know I cannot wait around for ever to let it 'happen'. I enjoyed it a lot when one of my best friends were here for a week with her family. I do tend to be tolerant of babies that are close to me, which sounds worse than I mean, but I generally don't have a lot with little babies that I don't know.
-- Can I please stress that this non-tolerance feeling does NOT count for that best friend's kid, and ofcourse my nieces and nephew, because they are the only ones so far that make me feel motherly and überpatient!!! --

Ok, so to continue, I like kids when they can talk, reason, play, are polite and generally take care of themselves. I could not wait for my dogs to get out of the puppy thing. Sure it's supercute, but I am not a very patient person that tends to fuss a lot. Which doesn't mean I don't worry when I picked up a little chick that fell from the tree and nursed it for 6 weeks, from being totally hairless and having to learn how to eat, fly and basically live, untill the moment it flies out. I did keep 'Tio Pio' beside my bed and wake up every 2 hours because I worry that it's not moving anymore.

But the strong urge of wanting to be a mother, I don't have it all the time and I never had it (all the time). I do know I could handle it, and I will be very happy if and when it does happen. I mean, new parents in general keep saying that it changes your life completely, which makes sense. It's not about you anymore (which also makes sense). But if people really thought it was that bad, why do they keep having kids? Exactly...

Oooh but I'm sure these moments uncertainty will totally dissapear when it comes to my kids... We will see...

Tic-tac-tic-tac!

Losing a Loved One

My dear Grandmother of 86 years old, died last week on 4th of September 2009.

She was one of the people I admired most, aways strong, loved being the centre of attention and was proud of everyone in her family.

I know she was old, I know some things weren't quite right. Yet it completely surprised me, as she was supposed to have a routine procedure in the hospital. Unfortunately, mistakes where made. I don't want to go into details here, because I want to remember how she lived, not how she died.

My mother told me a few years ago, how my grandma was proud of my decision to put an end to my marriage, when things just couldn't be fixed anymore. How she probably would have done the same, if she had the courage, lived in a different age and didn't have the children to worry about. She was always strong, work always had to be done and you had to take care of yourself. She liked when people dressed smartly and looked slim. Men were viewed as caretakers, and decisionmakers. Women as obedient and hardworking, non-complaining. Basically a typical view of how things were when one is born in 1923.

My mom also told me how my grandma once said that I was the most special grandchild for her. And when she asked why, she simply answered: because she made me a grandmother. I hope that is something that my sister's first born can give to my mom and feel special like that. My grandmother looked forward to my sister's baby, and somehow I know that child will carry something of her inside.

During WWII, as a 17 year old girl, her family and many others were ordered to leave their houses and go to safer areas. The government stated that all farmers in the north of the country - the part least populated - must take people into their homes and provide work and food. To get there, these families had to cross German borders and were taken in trains on German grounds to travel up north, because railways in The Netherlands were destroyed so no-one could flie. They were shoved together in carriertrains, with no seats, no air and no light. People were sick, filthy and had all kinds of diseases due to bad hygiene and lack of soap. During the travel, American and English allies thought their train was a German train and attacked. You can only imagine how scary that was. Luckily, the train wasn't hit and they arrived safely. Only to be seperated from her family, my grandmother went to work on a farm for the rest of the duration of the war. Hers were the only people who obviously were angry to take in people, and she had a horrible time, doing slave work for very little food and bathing priviledges. She never kept in touch with them after that, unlike many other families who always held tight connections with the farms where they stayed.

She got married with my grandfather at 27. He was often quite sick, due to captivity in WWII and having to work for the Germans in a factory. So she made a little extra money cooking. She catered for weddings, communions, funerals and other occasions where food might be needed. Taking care of the children during the day, working until 4 at night.
My mum, sis and I definitely inherited her love (and skills) for cooking.

I know life continues, the circle of life works that way. We have to pass on what we were tought. And that... we will do to honour our loved ones who sadly passed on.

Thank you Oma, You will Never be Forgotten, You will Always be Loved. You are the Root of Our Excistence. I Love You.